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People think I’m confident and successful......

*CONTENT WARNING* This story contains issues related to mental health. “People think I’m confident and successful, I want to believe this myself, but I know I’m not. I’m your typical Aussie bloke, grew up in a small farming community in NSW, good at football, well liked at school, I’m now in my 50’s and still farming. The typical stereotype Aussie bloke at my age is supposed to have a family and kids…well I don’t. I’m single, no kids, no Mrs and live alone. I wanted that normal life but I ask you what even is “normal”?” ______________________________________ “It’s not until now that I’ve realised that happiness is more important than what others think. My whole life I have hated who I am, all because I was brought up believing that the feelings I felt were wrong. Yes, I’m gay, and trust me I’ve tried everything not to be, it’s impossible to change who you are. When I was 30 I tried to take my own life, I didn’t feel accepted and I still don’t, but I guess now I’m starting to accept it myself. I’m not ready to come out to everyone yet so I’d like to stay anonymous.” ______________________________________ “Its ok to be who you are. Imagine for 40 years of your life is in limbo hating yourself, confused and just down on life all because of one little secret that doesn’t really change anything. If your gay, bi or straight you’re still the person you are and grew up to be. In my area it’s not normal to be gay in fact I haven’t really heard of anyone around coming out. I’m at the point in my life now that I either be honest with myself and come out or I take my own life, I’m just sick of not being happy. Sorry for raw reality but most farmers going through similar things think about doing it to, all because its seen as not “normal”.” ______________________________________ “Life is short, be who you are, enjoy the life you have and most importantly be happy!” _____________________________________ If this story has brought up anything for you please contact lifeline on 13 11 14.


1 Comment

Glen Schindler
Glen Schindler
Feb 10, 2021

Hey bud, hope your doing ok, just found this site and glad I did, seems like there are many amazing people here. It took me years to finally realise that it doesn’t give a * what other people think about you. That is their shit. I still have to pull myself up on that now and then. We are all doing the best we can with what we have. If that means calling on a mate when times are tough, so be it, it works both ways. Nobody else can make you happy, that is up to you as well, turn your think about, if you cannot make yourself happy, how can you expect someone else to? Wish I knew…

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